I've been hearing about, reading about, thinking about and writing about love in other cultures. Here in India, arranged marriages are still very relevant. And if you do want to choose your mate, you better choose someone your family will approve of. Someone of the same class, same religion, same background. To me that seems so limiting. Surely I wouldn't be able to be with my boyfriend if the same rules applied to me.
After the marriage, the bride goes to live in the grooms house. With his parents. A very patriarchal society. Having spent a lot of time with my boyfriend's family by now, I would really hate to live with them for the rest of their lives. No offense of course, I'd hate to live with my parents too. Independence is a drug I've become addicted to.
This day in age, why do Indian girls put up with these old fashioned rules? Because it's a part of their culture of course. It's as normal to them as spicy food! It's easy to assimilate if their groom is from the same background. Of course they should take care of their parents in old age, they took care of them in youth. Many girls don't trust themselves to choose their own mate. And they certainly don't want to go through the heartbreak that comes with Western dating. All the power plays and games seem like such a waste of time to them. How to do they learn to be in relationships if they don't have that trail and error? What if their husbands, whom they've only just met in some cases, turn out to be terrible people? They shut up and bear it. Divorces are very frowned upon. Quite a difference compared to America's 60% divorce rate.
So who's right? Quite simply, everyone. Love manifests itself in so many different ways. Who is anyone to judge how others go about finding their life partners? Soul meets soul on lovers lips, no matter how they come to find each other.
After the marriage, the bride goes to live in the grooms house. With his parents. A very patriarchal society. Having spent a lot of time with my boyfriend's family by now, I would really hate to live with them for the rest of their lives. No offense of course, I'd hate to live with my parents too. Independence is a drug I've become addicted to.
This day in age, why do Indian girls put up with these old fashioned rules? Because it's a part of their culture of course. It's as normal to them as spicy food! It's easy to assimilate if their groom is from the same background. Of course they should take care of their parents in old age, they took care of them in youth. Many girls don't trust themselves to choose their own mate. And they certainly don't want to go through the heartbreak that comes with Western dating. All the power plays and games seem like such a waste of time to them. How to do they learn to be in relationships if they don't have that trail and error? What if their husbands, whom they've only just met in some cases, turn out to be terrible people? They shut up and bear it. Divorces are very frowned upon. Quite a difference compared to America's 60% divorce rate.
So who's right? Quite simply, everyone. Love manifests itself in so many different ways. Who is anyone to judge how others go about finding their life partners? Soul meets soul on lovers lips, no matter how they come to find each other.
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